Speak Out

Yeah my friend, i’m scared to death. The whole pregnancy things; the pain, the nauseous, the stretch mark, the fat, the varices, and most of all, THE DELIVERY! And after that; change the diapers, nursery, waking up in the middle of the night, the cry of the baby, the demanding of people around me, the demanding of the husband. AARRGGHHH!

Semua orang bilang, ngga ada gunanya dipikirin toh mau ngga mau harus dilewatin juga. I know that! Tapi memangnya ngga boleh curhat apa? Kenapa perempuan hamil mendadak harus menjadi suci? Tidak boleh bicara sembarangan, tidak boleh berpikir sembarangan, tidak boleh makan sembarangan, tidak boleh marah, tidak boleh kesel, tidak boleh nangis.

Perempuan yang jadi sakit, mual, gendut, kaki bengkak, naik turun emosi lalu dituntut untuk tutup mulut? Ngga boleh curhat, ngga boleh mengungkapkan kejujuran paling liar sekalipun? Kejam. Kalian sungguh kejam! Damn my society!

So now, let me speak out. I’m scared to death! Sometimes i even think about what if i never had this baby. What if the night when his sperm and my egg met never happened. What if i woke up in the morning i found my belly is flat and my stretch mark is gone.

Yes, darling. This is me, i dont wanna be a holy woman. But, by God’s blessing, i will try hard to be a good mother, with all my fears and complains.